"So, You Think You Can Dance"--As If

When I was in elementary school, I promised my cousin Nathan that I would never stop break dancing. In return, he pledged to me the same solemn oath. Admittedly, since that day, my wave has gotten more than a bit rusty. With some shame, I admit that I do not even have a cut-down refrigerator box anywhere in my house. Of course, this makes it nearly impossible for me to practice back spins even if I wanted to... So yeah, I live with that guilt.

I know that this week So, You Think You Can Dance started a new season. Why I know this, I don't rightly know. So, yes, I not only live with the guilt of a broken promise but also the shame of knowing the coming and goings of show that features Mary Murphy's screaming about the "Hot Tamale Train."

But still... in the past, I have teased my kids that I would try out to try to get a spot on that television program. I would try to get them visualize me busting out some of my better break dancing moves. "Can't you imagine your dad doing the worm?" I told them I might even find one of those shirts I used to wear with about three pounds of zippers holding it together and enough netting to haul in a boatload of fish. "If I were on So, You Think You Can Dance, I might even spring for parachute pants," I would tell them.

As I thought about it though, I decided that I would never go on a show called So, You Think You Can Dance. Honestly, what self-respecting break dancer would? I mean seriously... "Think I can"?! Hah! I know I can. Make me a show called You Know You Can Dance, and I will be there and prepared to put on a break dancing show that I have bottled up for decades too long.